Bob like me recently left the taxis,he was an ex army lad and had great storys to tell.
This story started in Whtehaven when the lads went on the ale.
You have to take into account that these lads were young and fit and hit the ale big time on leave.
One of the lads was wearing a pair of joke boobs and a bright red curly wig,very drunk at the time tried to get into a china resturante,but to no avail,they wouldent let him in,so after arguing for a while (we'll call this lad Bill) Bill starts to get angry and throws his beer bottle through the resurante window,one of the other lads shouts "bomb blast" (code name for get the f**k out of their) so they all spit up and run with the sound of alarms ringing and police sirens,Bill was running for a good half an hour getting at least a mile away when he started to sober up and stared to think....where am i running to?.....where am i......being in the middle of nowhere...not knowing where his camp was......he stared to panic,he was in the middle of nowhere,cold,drunk and on the run from the police.........soknowing his chances wernt that too good now,he realised that if he went back,he'd be in trouble with the police,but if he got lost in a strange place in cold weather,drunk,fell asleep,he would surley die,so he headed back.....saw a police car,opened the back door and jumped in and said "i believe your looking for me"...the police were gob smacked,realised he was no danger and took him to the station.
Next morning at the camp they start to get up,Bob panics anyone seen Bill...wakes everyone up....nowone saw Bill come home......"EVERYONE OUT OF BED......BILL NEVER CAME HOME LAST NIGHT" knowing the weather could kill a guy who fell asleep in it they all thought the worst,so it was straight out of bed into an army truck and into town to inform the athoratise,first stop was the police station....so bob walked in...."hiya,it's a bit like this,we were drunk last night,got into a bit of trouble,split up and our mate Bill,never came home home last night.....Police man says "Did he have a red wig on,fake boobs"......"yer,yer,thats him" Police man says"Bill your mates are here to pick you up" Bill comes out of a room with a bathrobe on,just out the shower,says "alright lads"........while they hadjumped straight out of bed to look for him...........he'd had a shower...............and not only that............a full English breakfast............and sorted it out with the retaurante that if he paid for the window he wouldent be charged........................
How goods that story?
